THEE place for our growing collection of classic site terms/quotes with appropriate user credit given. If you don’t know the stories behind these, too bad for you!
- Banana Beat off Bread: “Shia loves hand job banana bread or as he calls it “Beat off Bread”. He thinks it’s the best thing in the world.” – Lailai
From Site Update: Shia Videos, 2008/10/26 at 1:26 AM - Ass Crack Cookie Dough: “I want to make a big batch of cookie dough and smear it all over Shia’s ass and lick it all off.” – Nitsirk
From Welcome Aboard!, 2008/10/22 at 12:46 PM - Fuck the Laces out of Your Shoes: “And for the record, I do love the shirt. But Shia I love it in a way that makes me want to fuck the laces out of your shoes.” Rubydaisy21
From Welcome Aboard!, 2008/10/24 at 11:25 AM - The Shia 7 – Chill!
***Various tales exist about The infamous Shia 7, while the phrase was initially coined by Chill!, a more recent description of who they are was recently provided: “The Shia 7 is a gang of desperado’s that Shia, a ranch owner, hired to kill or track down a nomadic band of harmonica sellsmen.” – Lailai - Capn’: Capn’ is the site PIMP. Photo of Capn’ –>
- Boobie Shock: Photo of Boobie Shock and it’s Progression can be seen below
B76
chill!
Oh fuck! Now the gauntlet has been thrown down. I will NOT let my name and jaunty saying not be here!
By the way has the typeface on the NC 17 gotten bolder or is that just my eyes playing Luke Perry picture tricks on me?
Oh shit, off to the right in “latest comments” it says “rubydaisy21 on beatoffbread” I feel so dirty!
Font’s the same…all in your head, as usual.
You know I got props for saying that shirt made me want to fuck the laces out of his shoes… not even honorable mention. How 5th place on Idol of me.
Oh …my…goodness! Everytime I come back, there is something new! I cannot believe you made this as a header. That is so awesome!
Nitsirk’s name is spelled wrong.
I feel so much pressure now. I am not good under pressure. I might start making LOL posts more than normal.
I think that we should take note of posts and then submit them here. It could be B’s job to sit in judgement, her with her heated vibrating chair and IPhone.
If we were not being looked at before by the radical right we will sure be on their list now.
Should we somehow mention Capn’ on here so that those who came in late know who to salute upon kneeling down to the power that is the Cap??
I think that this quote pretty well sums up what is going on here most of the time. It is Lailai referring to a post of mine concerning the bread;
lailai
October 25, 2008 at 9:38 pm
“I love how you say “Yeah that was really filthy. Go on.”
My name is not spelled wrong, lailai. What are you talking about?
I know… that lailai is just making shit up, trying to make me look bad.
Maybe she thinks my name should be spelled ‘nitsirk the dirty Shia freak’.
So Nit do I need to remake the damned bracelets to read WWNTDSFD? That sounds like a mouthful. Okay Nit run with the mouthful comment you dirty Shia freak.
Oh golly gee, that mouthful comment has so many possibilities. I don’t even know where to begin. ‘Shia’, ‘mouthful’, ‘dirty’ and ‘nitsirk’ just has so many combinations. I’ll just sit here and enjoy the moment!
I will leave you alone with your thoughts… it feels a little wrong to wait for you to finish.
That fuck the laces out of your shoes thing reminded me of Rubydaisies’ ” I love the way your eyes look when I tie up your hands with that shirt” or something like that. I know everyone has something funny on here. I’m going to have to go find them.
I like whoever it was that said about the three pictures on the top of the site here and the one on the left someone said he looks like he is thinking something like ‘if it takes you more that 2 minutes to get your bra off I’m going to cut it off with a knife’. Everytime I see it, I think of that quote.
Yeah I think that was Rubydaisies quote. That was definitely a good one too.
Sounds like something rubydaisy would say!
Some thing about your chicken needs to be on there B. And chill! said something today that I was busting up at. I can’t find anything though cause it’s just a sea of comments.
That makes me think that we need to start staying on topic so we can keep the comments down. Who’s with me?
If you all kick me off I’m going to go start my own site and it will be called “Those bitches at ShiaTalk don’t love Shia like I do. And they all suck ass.com”. But since I have absolutely no computer skills that may just have to be the title of a Word document.
But I’ll show you….
So in other words the only quotes you all can remember of mine are the one’s that sound a little violent?? Fucking the laces, getting the knife, tying the hands…. wow, maybe I really do have issues.
But now instead of being marf worthy we will all attempt to be quote worthy. Again, game on!
But I think that we will need a “beatoffbread” and then a “beatoffbreadbox” for suggestions.
Lailai you could always just type away crazily in your own Word doc and make up fake screen names for all those different voices in your head. I bet the voices couldn’t stay on topic either though, and eventually you will be back to square one.
But at the end of the day, after all of the aimless wandering of this land of Shia, after all of the off color off topic remarks don’t we come back to where we started?? Doesn’t it all come back to how much we just love the shirt?
Rubydaisies the shirt is truly fantastic.
And B, if I tried that it might work for awhile but I’m pretty sure it would get to this:
“Wait What?”
“Wait what what?”
“You said that thing and I didn’t know what you were talking about.”
“What thing?”
“The thing you said.”
“What thing did I say?”
“About Shia”
“What did I say about Shia?”
“I don’t know I was asking you.”
“Wait what where we talking about? Oh I was saying if Shia truly looked into those rabbinical studies I think he would….oh look everyone a chicken!”
It would end up like Rainman doing Abbott and Costello with himself.
And yet I understood where you were going with all of that. But I do like how you took turns with yourself.
We all get in line. We are very orderly, this crazy world of mine.
Wait is that not how you are supposed to get a proctology exam? That male nurse lied to me!
Ok going to need just a little background on that one. Was that supposed to be for punishment or pleasure?
Oh this was supposed to go over where the link to Oz was. I have no idea why I posted it here. That is so weird. Anyway, I’m going to copy and paste it there. So pretend like when you see it for the second time it’s just as funny.
Okay so I am thinking that the “we are very orderly” is not always true if you are posting in the wrong places. The Oz messed you up in ways that you will not fully understand for awhile and then in some random moment you will see a spoon and end up in the fetal position on the floor.
Can this pic be attached to the beatoffbread page?
I am so lost. I meant to post that by the picture. That error was immediately followed by accidentally logging off.
OK, so I don’t have photoshop on this PC, so the pic above will have to do. Can’t edit with the tools I have on this PC… my laptop is still broken and it has all my wonderful website/graphic tools on it! Grrrr… but it’s cute, admit it!
Who was able to write on the picture? That is hysterical, too funny and yet you can almost hear him saying it. Of course you cleaned up the dialogue but how funny!
Why is my name starting to look like rubberdaisy? Is that just me or is it like the NC-17 typeface?
Ruby, that was me… but usually I can make it look much better, just don’t have the right tools on this PC. I can write on any pic my dear… and trust me, it takes a LOT of restraint NOT to do so. I could totally be circling “items” we should focus on, or doing much much worse with the pics. You don’t know the torture.
So you could John Madden up these photos?? I am so impressed with the restraint. I would have my name coming out of his mouth in every shot. Oh God the oral picture with the ability to write on it, man what I could do. I like to write a little, interject a little (as if you didn’t know) so that kind of power would be out of control.
Oh no! hahaha
Be careful, Perez Hilton might steal that picture now.
Ugh I hate that guy. That is exactly the person that loves to see others fail so that he can feel better about himself. How can you make fun of celebrities when you are trying so hard to be one yourself?
I know. I saw him on the View and he was bitching about (and I think suing) some other website that was talking shit about him. And one of the ladies was just like “Do you not see the hypocracy?” And I swear his answer was something about the fact that he wasn’t a celebrity so it’s different standards. It was ok for him to do it to celebities cause they are rich and famous but he wasn’t. I really believe he thinks all that crap he does is a service. Cause outing people and destroying their lives and careers is a service.
I can’t stand the guy but there are those who love the care wreck aspect of things. So when they don’t have the guts to be nasty to or about someone they look to someone else to do it for them. Then when the shit hits the fan they can step back and say “it wasn’t me, it was that guy”
My fingers are cold, that should have been “car wreck aspect” not care.
So when is the Shia 7 going to end up on here?
Was that you Chill who came up with the Shia7?
So what’s up with the Shia 7? Last time I was here we were a bank robbing cowboy gang. Has it changed again?
Yep, I came up with the Shia 7. Not sure how you want to quote it, but it was me.
Nit, go back into Isabel and Adrien, scroll back up to Lailai’s backstory at 2:47 am I think it is. You will get the whole story and the reason why I am gunning for you now.
Chill! I will add the Shia7 thing tonight, gotta come up with the description for it, and that is not an easy task…since it’s been associated with several things, perhaps the Shia7 are a bank robbing, cowboy gang who also play in a band?
Ha ha. B – I think Ruby might best describe it
I’ll have to think about it. Lailai is the one who made up the roundup gang for Shia’s stolen cattle.
But make sure I have two legs in the story!
Here is where the story took a life of it’s own… this is in Isabel and Adrien…
lailai
October 30, 2008 at 2:47 am
The Shia 7 sounds like a gang of desperado’s that Shia, a ranch owner, hired to kill or track down some people.
Damn right! And if anyone brings up the band shit again they are going to have to answer to me and my pearl handled pistol.
If a band MUST be mentioned, it will simply be “The Shia 7 is a gang of desperado’s that Shia, a ranch owner, hired to kill or track down a nomadic band of harmonica sellsmen.” Shia hates harmonica’s. Thinks they aren’t “street” enough.
Oh yes.
I think that works. Lailai and Chill deserve credit!
Chill first though.
But wait he loves that I play harmonica! He loves the treble in my tongue as I play the harp!
Uh humm I just read the defination for “Shia 7″ I thought I cleared up the harmonica salesman rumor?! Shia loves the blues why would he have us hunt down the harmonica slingers?? Look out big guy from Blues Travelors! What next banjo players?
Okay fine, now who is going to play us in the movie?? I call Christina Applegate for me, she is funny, she is smart, however she is blonde- one of us will have to dye our hair.
Who is playing the rest of you, Lailai Vin is not an option for you.
Wait I know who Lailai will pick…
I am played by Drew Barrymore. Which of you ho’s is the one who also like’s Drew cuz I will fight you for the right to be played by her anyday!
I choose Kate Beckinsale cause we have the exact same body type.
I hope you are BSing Nitsy, or else I am jealous as hell and want to know your secret. haha
Would I lie to you? Of course Kate and I have the same body type just like, of course Shia and I just got out of the hot steamy shower.
Hey, I just wanted to make sure we are all being honest here. This is no place for fantasies.
I’m not having fantasies. Shia and I really did just take a hot shower together. Why is that so hard to believe? Fantasies? PLEASE!
Nit are you swallowing the meds or spitting them back out because it is vital that you swallow and not spit, to spit is to waste and that is just wrong.
I always swallow. Just ask Shia.
Did you know that sperm is the purest form of protein that a body can digest? Can you imagine the strength in sperm from a man who’s last name is the beef?
Wait, were having a nice conversation about swallowing and now ruby turns it into a science lesson. You lost me there.
A tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories. Semen does contain protein, but it also contains all kinds of chemicals and minerals, including water, sugar, calcium, chlorine, magnesium, nitrogen, vitamin B12, and zinc. But it does not contain enough of any of these things to be considered “nutritious.”
Haha – found that online.
Hey this website is both fun AND educational Nitsy.
Thanks for ruining all future blow jobs for me, B. Shia won’t appreciate this either.
Sorry but Ruby’s post reminded me of a slutty girl in HS who was always concerned with her caloric intake. This chick would blow her boyfriend daily, some times multiple times between class periods, she’d show up late after the bell rang and everyone knew what she was doing! Anyhow, one day she asked if we knew if swallowing was racking up the calories for her and we thought that was the weirdest grossest thing anyone had ever asked about.
BTW, by the end of that HS yr she DID look like she’d put on some weight. We (my other friends and I) would tease her about it. I always thought that was funny. Sorry if it was gross. haha
So I have been a vegan swallowing all of these years and it is for nothing?? Wow now I will just have to do it for the love of the sport.
We should have some sort of song that talks about this, like “conjunction junction” or “only a bill.” Does anyone here write songs??
I love that a post starts out like “Sorry but Ruby’s post reminded me of a slutty girl in HS” If I have given a blow job for every time I heard that one…
Like a School House Rocks about Oral? Where DO you come up with these ideas?
“If I have given a blow job for every time I heard that one…” you’d be racking up the calories too? Let’s do the math, 6 calories times… ???
MAN I am afraid to know who reads these pages. I am thinking I should take my pic down now.
At least I didn’t want to do something along the lines of Cookie Monster’s “C is for Cookie” humm what could we do with that little number? Oh wait I know.
“S is for semen that’s good enough for me.
S is for semen that’s good enough for me.
S is for semen that’s good enough for me.
Oh semen semen semen starts with ’s”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BovQyphS8kA
I have just the puppet to do the job!
You know I refuse to worry about 6 calories, how many calories do you burn off in sex?
I’m betting you burn off more than 6 just getting the 6 in the first place.
See I like the way Silly thinks!
I gotta agree with Silly on that too.
“Did you know that sperm is the purest form of protein that a body can digest? Can you imagine the strength in sperm from a man who’s last name is the beef?” Oh…my…..goodness!
Angelina Jolie would play me. Is there any other choice?
I knew it, I should have said it but I knew that you would pick her. Wow, what a cast…
And the sperm thing is something I was told by a male bodybuilder, who knows why but I believed it. He may not have been a reliable source though because he refused to swallow his own spit because of something in it.
Angelina Jolie only if she gained some weight. I don’t want to look like a skeleton with a big set of lips. So maybe Jolie cira Laura Croft time.
Ruby are you saying Shia’s stuff would be like spinach to Popeye?
I can see Angelina as the ring leader of this group, so she fits you.
That is exactly what I am saying about Shia! Like if you were stranded without food you wouldn’t starve as long as he could get enough raw fish to eat you would both survive. Yeah, that is what I am saying.
Oh….my…..goodness! That is so sick. Tell me more about it!
Wow I found my dream tonight!
See Lailai you are teasing me because you know full and well that you are dreaming up the ultimate raw fish/semen story as we speak.
And why is sick, why waste it and run the chance of the ants eating him alive from the residue? Have you ever been bitten by the fire ants? You would gladly swallow if it meant saving him.
So swallowing saves both my life and Shia’s life? Wow that’s like a symbiotic relationship. And the good one. Not the one where one’s a parasite. No. Like the shark and those little fish that eat things off it. Like the sloths that have an ecosystem in their fur. Or like Bobby Brown and Whitney Huston. Now Shia, my mouth, and his jiz. All beautiful things.
And I love how the Shia 7 description sounds like a history lesson.
Lailai – Great Shia 7 lesson!
B we need new bread quotes while they are fresh from the oven;
“You know I just have to say that I think that he is an amazing actor. And right now he is acting like someone who is about to be fucked right out of his shoes.”
“OH shit, I stepped on another Pussy Bomb. I better dodge the pussy shrapnel before the Shia 7 find out!”
If no one has read this page in a while it is worth the few minutes it takes.
Why have we allowed the page to go cold? Have we not been funny enough to remember?
………
I just thought I’d make a comment here since there hasn’t been one in months.
That is all.
Go back to your days.
“Go back to your days.”
I can’t now…. you’ve disrupted the quiet of the BeatoffBread page… now I am all wound up.
It is sad that we have thought of nothing beat off worthy in months. We have gotten lazy I guess.
“I can’t now…. you’ve disrupted the quiet of the BeatoffBread page… now I am all wound up.”
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the power of digging up the Beatoff box.
“It is sad that we have thought of nothing beat off worthy in months. We have gotten lazy I guess.”
I think we have but “Oh this must go the Beatoff page” isn’t our first thought.
“I think we have but “Oh this must go the Beatoff page” isn’t our first thought.”
Well then we all have to look out for ourselves then I guess. So everytime I say something that makes me pee my pants I will quickly cut and paste it here and just know that it is immortalized here amongst the dried bread crumbs.
“So everytime I say something that makes me pee my pants”
Oh so the new criteria is finding our own jokes and deciding they are funny? Not what others say but our own jokes? OK. I’ll look out for my fabulous wit then.
“Oh so the new criteria is finding our own jokes and deciding they are funny? Not what others say but our own jokes? OK. I’ll look out for my fabulous wit then.”
No what I forgot to say was that I was going to cut and paste what I thought was funny that I said and you all feel free to cut and paste what you think I said that was funny too.
Hey I’ll put a comment over here…..
Huh, I wounder what else I missed while I was in the hospital.
What were you in the hospital for? Your son?